What is L.I.F.E.?
The Learning about L.I.F.E. program is based on a distinction between four kinds of human relationships:
The meaning of these words, as they are used in the program, is explained below. (Most relationships are a combination of two or more of these basic elements.)
LOVE (as in family love, commitment)
A relationship characterized by commitment, unconditional acceptance, deep respect, and trust.
Love is the most beautiful, most rewarding, and the most challenging of all relationships. Love involves mutual acceptance, respect, and trust. Love shows itself in commitment and a willingness to sacrifice for the one loved. Love is enduring, patient, forgiving, and encouraging. Love is the core teaching of most of the world religions. As Christians we believe that God's love is present in our love for one another, and that we are most l ike God when we love as God loves. Learning to give and to receive love is, perhaps, the most important task of life.
INFATUATION (as in falling-in-love)
A relationship involving sexual feelings and attraction. Also known as “being in love.”
This program uses the word “infatuation” to stand for any relationship that involves sexual attraction. It includes a wide range of sexual feelings from just being “interested” in someone all the way to being sexually intimate. Romantic infatuation is exciting and all-absorbing. It seek expression in kisses, hugs, touches, and eventually in sexual intercourse. It is usually exclusive and can sometimes be possessive and jealous. Infatuation is often called “love” but it isn’t the same as love. Romantic infatuation can grow into a true and lalsting love relationship, but it can also degenereate into exploitation and abuse. Learning to know the difference is one of the greatest challenges of life.
FRIENDSHIP (peer relationships)
A relationship between any two or more persons who trust each other and like to be together.
Friendship is comfortable and easy, enriching and fun. It is based on mutual trust, understanding, acceptance, and enjoyment. Friendship is not exclusive or possessive but leaves the other free. A person can have many friends at once, friends of both sexes, friends of all ages, races, and religions. We depend on our friends for fun, laughter, and excitement. We know that our friends respect us and that they will challenge us to do our best. Friendship teaches us how to balance the conflicting claims of independence and dependence, how to fit in with a group without sacrificing our individuality. Some friendships last a lifetime. The best of them grow into love.
EXPLOITATION
A relationship based on selfishness and lack of respect for the other person.
The word exploitation refers to any relationship in which one person uses another for his or her own selfish purposes. We are all guilty of using others, often the people we love the most. We take our friends for granted, we abuse our parents' trust, we flatter our teachers, we blackmail our brothers and sisters, we have fun at the expense of another person, we take advantage of somebody's weakness, and we manipulate people to get our own way. More serious forms of exploitation include things like bullying, stealing, cheating, blackmail, child abuse, extortion, rape, incest, pornograhy, prostitution, and sexual abuse.
