What is L.I.F.E.?
The Learning about L.I.F.E. program is based on a distinction between four kinds of human relationships:
The meaning of these words, as they are used in the program, is explained below. (Most relationships are a combination of two or more of these basic elements.)
LOVE (as in family love)
A relationship characterized by commitment, unconditional acceptance, deep respect, and trust.
Love is the most beautiful, most rewarding, and the most challenging of all relationships. Love involves mutual acceptance, respect, and trust. Love shows itself in commitment and a willingness to sacrifice for the one loved. Love is enduring, patient, forgiving, and encouraging. Love lasts through thick and thin. Learning to give and to receive love is the most important task of life. Love is learned and taught in the school called family.
INFATUATION (as in falling-in-love)
A relationship involving sexual feelings and attraction. Also known as “being in love.”
This program uses the word “infatuation” to stand for any relationship that has sexual attraction as a component. It includes a wide spectrum of relationships from just being “interested” in someone all the way to being emotionally and sexually intimate. Romantic infatuation is a relationship involving deep emotion and sexual attraction. Infatuation is exciting and all-absorbing. It is characterized by extremes of happiness and dejection, by exclusiveness and jealousy. Infatuation seeks expression in kisses, hugs, touches, and eventually in sexual intercourse. Infatuation is often called “love” but it isn’t the same as love. Given enough time and commitment, Infatuation can grow into real love; it can also degenerate into exploitation.
FRIENDSHIP
A relationship between any two or more persons who trust each other and like to be together.
Friendship is comfortable and easy, enriching and fun. It is based on mutual trust, understanding, acceptance, and enjoyment. Friendship is not exclusive or possessive but leaves the other free. A person can have many friends at once, friends of both sexes, friends of all ages, races, and religions. We depend on our friends for fun, laughter, and excitement. Friendship teaches us how to balance the conflicting claims of independence and dependence, how to fit in with a group without sacrificing our individuality. Some friendships last a lifetime. The best of them grow into love.
EXPLOITATION
A relationship based on selfishness and lack of respect for the other person.
Exploitation is a relationship that uses another person for one's own selfish purposes. When we exploit others, we don’t really care what someone else thinks or feels or how our words or actions might affect them. Exploitative relationships lack respect, concern, and commitment; they are deceptive and self-serving. Manipulation, ridicule, bullying, pranks, vandalism, and casual sex are all forms of exploitation. More serious forms include rape, sexual abuse, blackmail, and robbery. But all of us are capable of less serious forms. If we are honest, we can discover some degree of exploitation in most of our relationships.
